There have been a lot of words written about the 50 Shades movie, and I’m not about to get into a debate over its merits or lack thereof, but I saw the movie last night, and I have thoughts, so many thoughts. Here are a few of them:
- Dakota Johnson has a clear case of scoliosis – am I showing my age by noticing medical conditions rather than the raunchy(-ish) sex going on
- Also, Jamie Dornan has a gammy eye – that’s not sexy, and his accent is weird and distracting
- How much better would this movie be if I was watching Ian Somerhalder instead of Dornan (the correct answer is MUCH)
- “If you were mine, you wouldn’t be able to sit down for a week” – I may never stop laughing
- He’s a much bigger asshole in the book
- The contract negotiation scene is really well done and genuinely funny
- Not one mention of her inner goddess – movie: 1, book: 0
- I thought one of the main criticisms of the movie was that she never looked like she was enjoying herself – that’s just not true, unless smiling and orgasms aren’t indicators of enjoyment, someone catch me up if I’m wrong about that
- I thought this was supposed to be a terrible movie – I’ve seen a shitload of movies that are MUCH worse than this (I’m looking at you Vampire Academy, Mortal Instruments and Twilight)
- Did I mention it should have been Somerhalder?
Overall, it’s hard to complain. I had delicious pizza, saw a terrible (but amazing) movie with some lovely friends – happy Galentines Day I say.
Categories: Book life